"Where do tornadoes live?"

Before my health deteriorated so badly, I was a member of a bible study, and we were studying a book called, "Living Life on Purpose." It is a great book that talks about writing out priorities and goals, and living your life accordingly. I must confess...my life was a continual spin. I felt like I did nothing but respond to the "crisis of the moment" on most days. I had a general "outline for my life" but no real plan. I went from task to task, and I was just hanging on tight for the ride...so this book and the concepts appealed to me. Even though I went through all of the steps of writing out my "purpose statement" and goals, I am not sure much changed....even though I wanted it to...badly. I wanted to live each day "on purpose", but it was slipping through my fingers.

Then...within a few short months, I was no longer able to spin like a top and put out the fire of the moment. I could hardly get out of bed. It was then...that the craziness stopped...it had to. I had no choice. It is amazing how this brought clarity to my life. If I could just manage to make dinner and dress myself, I was happy. When all the noise and activity was stripped away, I could see my priorities clearly. When the option of going to Target or cleaning the house was gone, what mattered most? I had made it so difficult, and yet it was so very simple. My priorites?...All that really mattered was my relationship with God, and being a wife to my husband and a mommy to my children.

Being ill day after day, month after month, I began to see my mortality in a different light. I had always been relatively healthy and didn't think about my mortality very often. However, I was realizing that I am not so indestructible. My faith in God meant more than ever...knowing that I have a home in heaven when I die through the death of Christ and His gift of salvation brought such peace. With that said...while I am here on earth, it is a sobering reality to see that health and life are fragile and not just a given "right." They can be taken at any time. It is a gift to be able to be a mom to my children...to be a part of those golden moments...to teach them, to love them, to correct them. I want to "see" the gift that it is....I want to savour it. I don't want to miss it because I am trying to get my "to do list" finished. Don't get me wrong...there are other things besides being a mother and wife that I would like to accomplish, but I don't want to spin like a top anymore. I want to be "fully" available for the those golden moments with my family.

Last night, I realized I was having one of those "moments" with both of my children. I walked by the bathroom as Seth was brushing his teeth, and at a glance, I realized that his face is changing...he is growing. Yes, I know they grow, but I could see it! The thought came....savour this moment. He won't always be your little boy brushing his teeth in the next room. What a cool thing to see him grow!

Then, I went to Raegan's room to do our bedtime routine and she asked me, "Mommy, where do tornadoes live?" I tried to explain the little I know about how they develop...then, I saw a look of fear in her eyes...she didn't need to know about tornadoes. She saw The Wizard of Oz for the first time last week, and she just needed to know mommy could protect her from a tornado. We cuddled and talked about our "safe" basement, and she was fine once she knew she could bring all of her dolls and stuffed animals along if there was ever a tornado. Her body immediately relaxed, and she was ready to fall asleep. This is what I want more than anything...to tell her "where tornadoes live," and help chase away her fears. My priorities?...What I want to accomplish in life?....It's not so complicated after all.

As I get stronger, and cleaning house or shopping is an option, I am fighting the winds of busyness that so easily rob me of the golden moments that are right in front of me. May I continue to have eyes to see them.

Ronda