I Survived my first PUSH

Hello!



There is so much to write about today! Once again, I am slowly pecking away at the keys with my left hand. I will give it my best shot!



Yesterday, I was awakened at 4:30 AM by another earthquake (4.2). I turned over and went back to sleep! My sleep is so precious these days...not even an earthquake can keep me from trying to get my ZZZ's. Everyone at the clinic is bracing for the "Big One." We were briefed on evacuation procedures at the clinic this morning. I have had several people ask me if I am worried about the earthquakes, and my answer is, " I am concerned but not worried." I am obviously not losing any sleep over it! I know I am where I am suppose to be right now, and there is no reason to fret over something I cannot control. I will leave it to the One who is ultimately in control.



My treatment started a new phase last night. After my IV treatment, they gave me what is affectionately known as "THE PUSH." It is a culture that is given in the vein. The purpose is to elicit a controlled immune response so the body will fight the lyme as well as other viruses. The patient typically feels pain or discomfort in the places the body has been most effected by lyme. It causes flu-like symptoms for three to twenty-four hours. They start with a "weak" push to see how your body will respond, and increase it each day as tolerated. I will have a push M-F for the next three weeks. Yes! Fun to be had by all! I am not looking forward to it but if it will help me get my health back...bring it on!



My first experience with the push was not pleasant but manageable. I stayed at the clinic for the first several hours so they could observe my reaction and see how my body would handle it. There is nothing like having flu-like symptoms with a room full of people to witness it! About an hour after my push, pain started in my neck and radiated through my head. (Amy, I thought about you and have even more empathy for you with your migraines.) I definitely felt it in my inner ear (interestingly enough, I have had pressure/pain in my ears for a year). I also had pain in my lower back that radiated down my legs and into my knees. The right side of my face and ear became slightly numb for awhile (a place I have felt numbness in the past). I was nauseated but able to hold down liquids, and tolerated a cup of applesauce before I went to bed. I had a low grade fever throughout the night and early morning. The headache...well, I still have it.

They have told me how to alleviate symptoms if it becomes too painful or uncomfortable, but the more I can tolerate the symptoms the better. The fever and pain means it is working and when you stop the reaction, you stop the work it is doing in your body. I am trying to keep my eye on the end goal, and not the present discomfort.

Yesterday, as I was being observed at the clinic and I was beginning to feel the pain. Another patient, the one who cried with me over missing my family, came to my side. She leaned down, and looked me right in the eye. All she said was, "How are you?" Those three words were spoken with so much compassion, and "knowing empathy," I started to cry. She rubbed my neck and head for a few minutes, and stayed with me for a long time. She made sure I was okay before she left. What a special lady....I felt as though she was my angel for those few minutes. A reminder that I am not alone. I know I have so much support at home, and it was as if she embodied all the love and support I feel with a human touch.

After she left, I noticed a One Year Bible mixed in with all of the DVD's. (They have a big screen TV with DVDs for us to watch during treatment.) I was so surprised to see a Bible in that location I was compelled to pick it up. I turned to April 28th and read the Proverbs. I don't have the reference or the verse with me right now so I'll try to paraphrase. It talked about the sweetness of empathy from someone who has experienced what you are experiencing. Yes! it was very sweet, and just what I needed.

I just received my second push, and I am beginning to feel it. I will write more later.

Love,
Ronda