I had my second push yesterday. I was warned my reaction to this push could be more severe than the first so I was bracing myself. The patients refer to the reaction as "Shake and Bake" because typically you get really cold and you shake... then, you spike a temperature and get very hot. Since I didn't "shake" the first time, I was hoping that would not be one of my symptoms. One hour after I was given the push, it happened. I started shaking...violently. I could not control my body or my breathing. I was gasping and shaking! I was scared, and thought, "I don't know if I can do this!" I was ready to take the medication to stop the reaction. Then, I remembered something one of the nurses told me. He said, "If you are shaking and having difficulty controlling your breathing, meditate...go to a happy place." As a counselor, I know the benefit of relaxation and focusing on a peaceful place so I thought....why not try it. I remembered the beautiful mountain scene God showed me last week so I focused on the beauty of that scene. However, it didn't work. I was still shaking, and I could not slow my breathing. I was getting desperate. Then, I thought..."God is walking with me...I am in His presence." It is that place in my heart where I know God's unconditional love, complete acceptance and forgiveness regardless of my imperfections. A place of love and grace for which I don't need to strive; it doesn't come from my goodness or effort. It is just a gift I have received. When I focused on this place, the shaking INSTANTLY stopped and my breathing was completely controlled. I thought, "This is amazing, but maybe a fluke...this can't be!" It just so happened the TV was on in my room, and Oprah was on..( I really wanted to turn it off because the noise was bothering me but I couldn't get up to turn it off) so I focused on Oprah for a minute and the shaking came back. (Sorry Oprah...you didn't do the trick!!) I went back to that place in my heart...and it stopped again! Each time I focused on something else, the shaking came back. I was a believer! I stayed with what I knew would calm my body. It lasted about an hour. Over the last several years, I have come to know the emotional healing of understanding God's love and grace, but it was amazing to see my physical body respond in such a powerful way! It has had a huge impact on me! I must admit sharing something this personal is a little daunting, but there is not way I could tell you about what happened yesterday without being completely honest about how I got through it. Wow! I am still amazed!
The shakes were followed by fever, headache, ear pain and some body aches. My fever broke about 2:00AM, and I woke up this morning with a normal temperature. I still have the headache but I am being assured it will go away. I did take a pain reliever this morning, but it didn't touch it!
During the hardest part of my reaction last night, Raegan and my mom were in the apartment (but Raegan did not know I was home) having a great time. As I lay there, I could hear her laugh, and it was awesome knowing she is happy and okay. She has such a precious laugh! Once I was able, "Mommy came home," and I tucked her into bed.
I just finished my IV therapy. I am headed home for lunch and plan to take Raegan to the park this afternoon. Then, I will come back to the clinic late this afternoon for my next push. It takes about an hour for the reaction to start so I will have time to get home and get in bed. Again, Raegan will be kept occupied by my mom until I can "come home" to tuck her into bed.
I have been told there was a fundraiser at Foster's Grille last night for me! I am completely overwhelmed and amazed at the generousity and support that has been poured out through friends, family and my community. Thank you to EVERYONE who went to Foster's last night, and, "Thank you" Foster's Grille!
Love,
Ronda
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I Survived my first PUSH
Hello!
There is so much to write about today! Once again, I am slowly pecking away at the keys with my left hand. I will give it my best shot!
Yesterday, I was awakened at 4:30 AM by another earthquake (4.2). I turned over and went back to sleep! My sleep is so precious these days...not even an earthquake can keep me from trying to get my ZZZ's. Everyone at the clinic is bracing for the "Big One." We were briefed on evacuation procedures at the clinic this morning. I have had several people ask me if I am worried about the earthquakes, and my answer is, " I am concerned but not worried." I am obviously not losing any sleep over it! I know I am where I am suppose to be right now, and there is no reason to fret over something I cannot control. I will leave it to the One who is ultimately in control.
My treatment started a new phase last night. After my IV treatment, they gave me what is affectionately known as "THE PUSH." It is a culture that is given in the vein. The purpose is to elicit a controlled immune response so the body will fight the lyme as well as other viruses. The patient typically feels pain or discomfort in the places the body has been most effected by lyme. It causes flu-like symptoms for three to twenty-four hours. They start with a "weak" push to see how your body will respond, and increase it each day as tolerated. I will have a push M-F for the next three weeks. Yes! Fun to be had by all! I am not looking forward to it but if it will help me get my health back...bring it on!
My first experience with the push was not pleasant but manageable. I stayed at the clinic for the first several hours so they could observe my reaction and see how my body would handle it. There is nothing like having flu-like symptoms with a room full of people to witness it! About an hour after my push, pain started in my neck and radiated through my head. (Amy, I thought about you and have even more empathy for you with your migraines.) I definitely felt it in my inner ear (interestingly enough, I have had pressure/pain in my ears for a year). I also had pain in my lower back that radiated down my legs and into my knees. The right side of my face and ear became slightly numb for awhile (a place I have felt numbness in the past). I was nauseated but able to hold down liquids, and tolerated a cup of applesauce before I went to bed. I had a low grade fever throughout the night and early morning. The headache...well, I still have it.
They have told me how to alleviate symptoms if it becomes too painful or uncomfortable, but the more I can tolerate the symptoms the better. The fever and pain means it is working and when you stop the reaction, you stop the work it is doing in your body. I am trying to keep my eye on the end goal, and not the present discomfort.
Yesterday, as I was being observed at the clinic and I was beginning to feel the pain. Another patient, the one who cried with me over missing my family, came to my side. She leaned down, and looked me right in the eye. All she said was, "How are you?" Those three words were spoken with so much compassion, and "knowing empathy," I started to cry. She rubbed my neck and head for a few minutes, and stayed with me for a long time. She made sure I was okay before she left. What a special lady....I felt as though she was my angel for those few minutes. A reminder that I am not alone. I know I have so much support at home, and it was as if she embodied all the love and support I feel with a human touch.
After she left, I noticed a One Year Bible mixed in with all of the DVD's. (They have a big screen TV with DVDs for us to watch during treatment.) I was so surprised to see a Bible in that location I was compelled to pick it up. I turned to April 28th and read the Proverbs. I don't have the reference or the verse with me right now so I'll try to paraphrase. It talked about the sweetness of empathy from someone who has experienced what you are experiencing. Yes! it was very sweet, and just what I needed.
I just received my second push, and I am beginning to feel it. I will write more later.
Love,
Ronda
There is so much to write about today! Once again, I am slowly pecking away at the keys with my left hand. I will give it my best shot!
Yesterday, I was awakened at 4:30 AM by another earthquake (4.2). I turned over and went back to sleep! My sleep is so precious these days...not even an earthquake can keep me from trying to get my ZZZ's. Everyone at the clinic is bracing for the "Big One." We were briefed on evacuation procedures at the clinic this morning. I have had several people ask me if I am worried about the earthquakes, and my answer is, " I am concerned but not worried." I am obviously not losing any sleep over it! I know I am where I am suppose to be right now, and there is no reason to fret over something I cannot control. I will leave it to the One who is ultimately in control.
My treatment started a new phase last night. After my IV treatment, they gave me what is affectionately known as "THE PUSH." It is a culture that is given in the vein. The purpose is to elicit a controlled immune response so the body will fight the lyme as well as other viruses. The patient typically feels pain or discomfort in the places the body has been most effected by lyme. It causes flu-like symptoms for three to twenty-four hours. They start with a "weak" push to see how your body will respond, and increase it each day as tolerated. I will have a push M-F for the next three weeks. Yes! Fun to be had by all! I am not looking forward to it but if it will help me get my health back...bring it on!
My first experience with the push was not pleasant but manageable. I stayed at the clinic for the first several hours so they could observe my reaction and see how my body would handle it. There is nothing like having flu-like symptoms with a room full of people to witness it! About an hour after my push, pain started in my neck and radiated through my head. (Amy, I thought about you and have even more empathy for you with your migraines.) I definitely felt it in my inner ear (interestingly enough, I have had pressure/pain in my ears for a year). I also had pain in my lower back that radiated down my legs and into my knees. The right side of my face and ear became slightly numb for awhile (a place I have felt numbness in the past). I was nauseated but able to hold down liquids, and tolerated a cup of applesauce before I went to bed. I had a low grade fever throughout the night and early morning. The headache...well, I still have it.
They have told me how to alleviate symptoms if it becomes too painful or uncomfortable, but the more I can tolerate the symptoms the better. The fever and pain means it is working and when you stop the reaction, you stop the work it is doing in your body. I am trying to keep my eye on the end goal, and not the present discomfort.
Yesterday, as I was being observed at the clinic and I was beginning to feel the pain. Another patient, the one who cried with me over missing my family, came to my side. She leaned down, and looked me right in the eye. All she said was, "How are you?" Those three words were spoken with so much compassion, and "knowing empathy," I started to cry. She rubbed my neck and head for a few minutes, and stayed with me for a long time. She made sure I was okay before she left. What a special lady....I felt as though she was my angel for those few minutes. A reminder that I am not alone. I know I have so much support at home, and it was as if she embodied all the love and support I feel with a human touch.
After she left, I noticed a One Year Bible mixed in with all of the DVD's. (They have a big screen TV with DVDs for us to watch during treatment.) I was so surprised to see a Bible in that location I was compelled to pick it up. I turned to April 28th and read the Proverbs. I don't have the reference or the verse with me right now so I'll try to paraphrase. It talked about the sweetness of empathy from someone who has experienced what you are experiencing. Yes! it was very sweet, and just what I needed.
I just received my second push, and I am beginning to feel it. I will write more later.
Love,
Ronda
Friday, April 25, 2008
April 25th, Fire in the hole!
Hello!
Yesterday, I finished treatment, and went to pick up my sweet Raegan. I have so many fluids going into me....I am making frequent trips to the restroom these days. So, before I went into Raegan's class, I stopped at the restroom next to her class. All of the sudden I heard a loud noise and the building began to shake. Then, I heard someone say, "Fire in the Hole!" I was panicked, and I was stuck...no chance of going anywhere for a few minutes. I thought, "who in the world is playing with explosives at a childcare center!" I thought, "is this a bomb....a joke....a dream!" I made record time finishing my task in the bathroom and ran into Raegan's classroom. All of the children where hunched down on their knees with their heads tucked into their tummies under tables! I know the blood drained out of my face, and I yelled, "What is going on?" "Who shouted, 'Fire in the Hole.' " The teachers seemed so calm. I couldn't understand. They quickly explained to me that what I had just experienced was an earthquake, and what I heard was "rabbit in the hole." This is their "phrase" to alert the children and staff to start their earthquake drill. The children tuck their heads and arms under their bodies and pretend to be rabbits under tables! The children where calm, and they where fine being rabbits! I, on the other hand, was ready to hop out of their as quickly as my feet would carry me! I was told their have been 30 earthquakes in this area just this week. Thankfully, I have only felt one of them! My first earthquake and hopefully, my last. In my mind, this is a good reason to live on the east coast! Home sweet home!
I tried a homeopathic sleeping aid last night, and it didn't touch me! Sleep was not to be had. I am looking forward to a good night sleep tonight with my precious Lunesta. Even though I am sleep deprived, I feel better today than I did before I started treatment! Also, the muscle pain is still minimal, and I am not experiencing the cardiac symptoms as frequently. My heart rate seldom races, and I don't feel as dizzy.
Today, my IV is a detox treatment. The other treatments this week have been infusions to kill the lyme and viruses in my body. The goal is to help my body get rid of the toxins let from my other treatments.
My mom arrives tomorrow, and Raegan and I are very excited to see her. Raegan has been counting the days until she gets to see her Grammy.
I am very homesick and counting the days until I can be home with my whole family and friends!
Have a great weekend!
Ronda
Yesterday, I finished treatment, and went to pick up my sweet Raegan. I have so many fluids going into me....I am making frequent trips to the restroom these days. So, before I went into Raegan's class, I stopped at the restroom next to her class. All of the sudden I heard a loud noise and the building began to shake. Then, I heard someone say, "Fire in the Hole!" I was panicked, and I was stuck...no chance of going anywhere for a few minutes. I thought, "who in the world is playing with explosives at a childcare center!" I thought, "is this a bomb....a joke....a dream!" I made record time finishing my task in the bathroom and ran into Raegan's classroom. All of the children where hunched down on their knees with their heads tucked into their tummies under tables! I know the blood drained out of my face, and I yelled, "What is going on?" "Who shouted, 'Fire in the Hole.' " The teachers seemed so calm. I couldn't understand. They quickly explained to me that what I had just experienced was an earthquake, and what I heard was "rabbit in the hole." This is their "phrase" to alert the children and staff to start their earthquake drill. The children tuck their heads and arms under their bodies and pretend to be rabbits under tables! The children where calm, and they where fine being rabbits! I, on the other hand, was ready to hop out of their as quickly as my feet would carry me! I was told their have been 30 earthquakes in this area just this week. Thankfully, I have only felt one of them! My first earthquake and hopefully, my last. In my mind, this is a good reason to live on the east coast! Home sweet home!
I tried a homeopathic sleeping aid last night, and it didn't touch me! Sleep was not to be had. I am looking forward to a good night sleep tonight with my precious Lunesta. Even though I am sleep deprived, I feel better today than I did before I started treatment! Also, the muscle pain is still minimal, and I am not experiencing the cardiac symptoms as frequently. My heart rate seldom races, and I don't feel as dizzy.
Today, my IV is a detox treatment. The other treatments this week have been infusions to kill the lyme and viruses in my body. The goal is to help my body get rid of the toxins let from my other treatments.
My mom arrives tomorrow, and Raegan and I are very excited to see her. Raegan has been counting the days until she gets to see her Grammy.
I am very homesick and counting the days until I can be home with my whole family and friends!
Have a great weekend!
Ronda
Thursday, April 24, 2008
April 24th...the scenic route
Hello everyone!
When I picked up Raegan last night, she was all smiles, and she went over to a little girl (a new friend) and hugged her goodbye. I was happy and relieved that she adapted so well, and made a new friend. As she left, she waived, and said, "See you all tomorrow!" I guess that answers my question about her comfort level, and it will be easier to drop her off tomorrow.
As we drove away, I made a wrong turn (not surprising...directions are not my strength!) and decided to turn down another road in order to turn around. As I made the turn, all of the sudden, in front of me was one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever seen. I saw beautiful snow capped mountains and the clouds were hanging very low around the peaks. The sun was peeking through the clouds and the light was reflecting off of the hills around the mountains. It took my breath away! It was almost as if God had said, "take this turn...I have something to show you!" I felt like I had stumbled onto one of the most beautiful spots in Reno! I said out loud to Raegan. "Look at the beautiful mountains God made!" She said, "Mommy God isn't here." I replied, "Raegan, God is always with us." In her sweet four-year-old way she said, "I don't see him.....did he take a walk?" I laughed for awhile, and then, I thought....yes, the same God who made these mountains is walking with me each and every moment. He doesn't miss anything, and He will be with me tomorrow and the next. What an amazing thing! It gives me such peace. Finally, I saw a sign that indicated I would eventually get to the road I needed so I stayed with the detour route and just took in the beauty! I may be taking this detour often.
I started feeling more energy Tuesday evening after treatment, and I still feel better today. The muscle pain has improved immensley! I know I still have a long road, but I am so grateful for the good days!
Thank you again for all of your prayers and support!
Suzanne, tell Presley, "Seth's mom really appreciates that he is such a good friend to Seth!"
Jane, thanks for your words of encouragement! I hope to meet you soon!
"Twice Blessed," thanks for encouraging me to start this blog! Yes, several of my friends are starting fundraisers to help me cover my expenses! Pretty incredible!! If you want more info about it, you can contact Kathy at kathydrago@yahoo.com or Amy at amylynnlittle@comcast.net.
Love to all!
Ronda
When I picked up Raegan last night, she was all smiles, and she went over to a little girl (a new friend) and hugged her goodbye. I was happy and relieved that she adapted so well, and made a new friend. As she left, she waived, and said, "See you all tomorrow!" I guess that answers my question about her comfort level, and it will be easier to drop her off tomorrow.
As we drove away, I made a wrong turn (not surprising...directions are not my strength!) and decided to turn down another road in order to turn around. As I made the turn, all of the sudden, in front of me was one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever seen. I saw beautiful snow capped mountains and the clouds were hanging very low around the peaks. The sun was peeking through the clouds and the light was reflecting off of the hills around the mountains. It took my breath away! It was almost as if God had said, "take this turn...I have something to show you!" I felt like I had stumbled onto one of the most beautiful spots in Reno! I said out loud to Raegan. "Look at the beautiful mountains God made!" She said, "Mommy God isn't here." I replied, "Raegan, God is always with us." In her sweet four-year-old way she said, "I don't see him.....did he take a walk?" I laughed for awhile, and then, I thought....yes, the same God who made these mountains is walking with me each and every moment. He doesn't miss anything, and He will be with me tomorrow and the next. What an amazing thing! It gives me such peace. Finally, I saw a sign that indicated I would eventually get to the road I needed so I stayed with the detour route and just took in the beauty! I may be taking this detour often.
I started feeling more energy Tuesday evening after treatment, and I still feel better today. The muscle pain has improved immensley! I know I still have a long road, but I am so grateful for the good days!
Thank you again for all of your prayers and support!
Suzanne, tell Presley, "Seth's mom really appreciates that he is such a good friend to Seth!"
Jane, thanks for your words of encouragement! I hope to meet you soon!
"Twice Blessed," thanks for encouraging me to start this blog! Yes, several of my friends are starting fundraisers to help me cover my expenses! Pretty incredible!! If you want more info about it, you can contact Kathy at kathydrago@yahoo.com or Amy at amylynnlittle@comcast.net.
Love to all!
Ronda
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Something Stinks!
Yesterday, as I was getting my treatment, I began to smell a foul odor. I thought, "where in the world is that odor coming from?" The odor became so strong I could taste it in my mouth. I was puzzled, and felt sorry for whoever or from wherever it was coming. Over time, I got use to the odor and did not notice it. I was hooked up for five hours...so I had some time to adjust to the unpleasant smell.
My friend and Raegan picked me up from the clinic in the late afternoon, and as soon as I got in the car, Becki had a very strange look on her face. It hit me....." I stink!" I started laughing and asked her, "Do I stink?" She tried to be diplomatic, and finally, she said, "Yes, you smell like....I have no idea what you smell like, but you definitely stink!" We rolled down the windows and laughed all the way home. The smell that haunted me all day was coming from me!
Today, the first thing I did was to ask the doctor and staff why I permeated such an odor and why no one told me! I guess they get use to the stinch...thank God for nurses that have a strong stomach. The doctor told me the byproduct of the infusion along with the toxins my body is releasing caused the odor. Maybe, we can stink the lyme out! Anyway, the laugh was good medicine for me!
I am finishing up treatment, and going to pick up Raegan from her first day of childcare. I am hoping and praying she will greet me with smiles, and had a fun day with new friends.
Love to all!
Ronda
P.S. My sleeping appears to be better. However, Raegan didn't sleep much last night. Please pray she sleeps too...so mommy can sleep.
My friend and Raegan picked me up from the clinic in the late afternoon, and as soon as I got in the car, Becki had a very strange look on her face. It hit me....." I stink!" I started laughing and asked her, "Do I stink?" She tried to be diplomatic, and finally, she said, "Yes, you smell like....I have no idea what you smell like, but you definitely stink!" We rolled down the windows and laughed all the way home. The smell that haunted me all day was coming from me!
Today, the first thing I did was to ask the doctor and staff why I permeated such an odor and why no one told me! I guess they get use to the stinch...thank God for nurses that have a strong stomach. The doctor told me the byproduct of the infusion along with the toxins my body is releasing caused the odor. Maybe, we can stink the lyme out! Anyway, the laugh was good medicine for me!
I am finishing up treatment, and going to pick up Raegan from her first day of childcare. I am hoping and praying she will greet me with smiles, and had a fun day with new friends.
Love to all!
Ronda
P.S. My sleeping appears to be better. However, Raegan didn't sleep much last night. Please pray she sleeps too...so mommy can sleep.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Tuesday, April 22nd
Hello!
I have one more hour of infusion, and I will be done for the day. The IV is in my right arm so I am typing with my left hand. I can barely type with two good hands so this should be interesting....
Some of my blood work came back today, and I found out I have Epstein Bar. It is a virus that can also cause fatigue as well as other symptoms. The IV infusions I am taking should help treat this as well as the lyme.
We are still awaiting the results of many more test. I am looking forward to getting it all back and being able to see the full picture.
Raegan and I are having a great time with Becki (my friend who flew out to help me with Raegan)! She has been such an incredible help to me! She is a teacher and loves preschoolers. She and Raegan bonded very quickly,and they are having a wonderful time! She leaves to go back to her husband and two beautiful girls in the morning. Raegan & I are truly going to miss her!
Raegan will be at a daycare center, for the next three days, while I am in treatment. She is very excited to go play with "friends." I think the social interaction will be very good for her. Then, my mom, "Grammy" will be here for the next two weeks. We are excited to see her, and grateful she can come and help me.
I had a great night sleep last night! I almost forgot what it was like to sleep more than a few hours at a time. They started me on a new sleeping aid that seems to agree with me!!! Hopefully, the sleep will continue.
My left hand is getting tired....
Blessings to you!
Ronda
I have one more hour of infusion, and I will be done for the day. The IV is in my right arm so I am typing with my left hand. I can barely type with two good hands so this should be interesting....
Some of my blood work came back today, and I found out I have Epstein Bar. It is a virus that can also cause fatigue as well as other symptoms. The IV infusions I am taking should help treat this as well as the lyme.
We are still awaiting the results of many more test. I am looking forward to getting it all back and being able to see the full picture.
Raegan and I are having a great time with Becki (my friend who flew out to help me with Raegan)! She has been such an incredible help to me! She is a teacher and loves preschoolers. She and Raegan bonded very quickly,and they are having a wonderful time! She leaves to go back to her husband and two beautiful girls in the morning. Raegan & I are truly going to miss her!
Raegan will be at a daycare center, for the next three days, while I am in treatment. She is very excited to go play with "friends." I think the social interaction will be very good for her. Then, my mom, "Grammy" will be here for the next two weeks. We are excited to see her, and grateful she can come and help me.
I had a great night sleep last night! I almost forgot what it was like to sleep more than a few hours at a time. They started me on a new sleeping aid that seems to agree with me!!! Hopefully, the sleep will continue.
My left hand is getting tired....
Blessings to you!
Ronda
Monday, April 21, 2008
Monday...starting the week off with a bang!
Hello Everyone!
Yes, this week is starting out to be eventful! About twenty-four hours ago, I started having pain in my upper right thigh. I called the doctor, and he told me to watch for swelling and redness. My leg began to slightly swell and when I put pressure on my leg, the veins in my leg bulged much like they did when I was nine months pregnant. (No! I am definitely not pregnant! Ha!) When these symptoms began, my dr advised me to go to the ER in order to rule out a deep vein thrombrosis (blood clot). Yes! If you are counting, this is my third ER visit in one month. For someone who hasn't ever been to the ER before April, 08, I have become all too familiar with the routine! They did a sonogram and ruled out a blood clot in the deep tissue (which is the dangerous kind). They did find a peripheral blood clot which is the reason for the discomfort and the blood pooling in my leg. I was discharged, and quickly, on my way to the clinic.... for my daily therapy. My friend Debbie said, "maybe the third ER visit is the charm." Let's hope she is right!
Thankfully, my wonderful friend, Becki, flew in from Chicago last night to help me with Raegan. She was there to be with Raegan while I was in the ER. THANK YOU BECKI!!!! It has been so great to see here. I have two more days with her! I am looking forward to our time together.
I am feeling very sad today...and I have cried several times! I really miss my family and friends. I read an e-mail earlier from Seth's teacher. (Thanks Mrs. "T" for being so great to him!) It is hard to imagine not seeing him or Chris for three or four more weeks.....it feels like a long time. All of my mommy instincts are kicking in....the reality of being away is hitting me. If you see either of them, give them a hug for me!
As I finished writing the comments about missing Seth & Chris, (I am writing from the clinic) one of the other patient's came over and handed me two boxes of gluten-free cookies for Seth. Seth is on a gluten-free diet and so is this patient. She and I had a conversation about the diet yesterday. How timely, my little boy loves these cookies....I have two boxes to bring to him! God is always on time! I needed that! Then, she stayed for a few minutes and shared in my tears...she also misses her three children.
Thanks for all of your encouraging words and comments! They mean so very much to me. Angel, thank you for the sharing the verse, Joshua 1:9 with me! "Be STRONG and courageous. Do not be afraid....God is with you WHEREVER you go." I needed to hear that today.
Love to all,
Ronda
Yes, this week is starting out to be eventful! About twenty-four hours ago, I started having pain in my upper right thigh. I called the doctor, and he told me to watch for swelling and redness. My leg began to slightly swell and when I put pressure on my leg, the veins in my leg bulged much like they did when I was nine months pregnant. (No! I am definitely not pregnant! Ha!) When these symptoms began, my dr advised me to go to the ER in order to rule out a deep vein thrombrosis (blood clot). Yes! If you are counting, this is my third ER visit in one month. For someone who hasn't ever been to the ER before April, 08, I have become all too familiar with the routine! They did a sonogram and ruled out a blood clot in the deep tissue (which is the dangerous kind). They did find a peripheral blood clot which is the reason for the discomfort and the blood pooling in my leg. I was discharged, and quickly, on my way to the clinic.... for my daily therapy. My friend Debbie said, "maybe the third ER visit is the charm." Let's hope she is right!
Thankfully, my wonderful friend, Becki, flew in from Chicago last night to help me with Raegan. She was there to be with Raegan while I was in the ER. THANK YOU BECKI!!!! It has been so great to see here. I have two more days with her! I am looking forward to our time together.
I am feeling very sad today...and I have cried several times! I really miss my family and friends. I read an e-mail earlier from Seth's teacher. (Thanks Mrs. "T" for being so great to him!) It is hard to imagine not seeing him or Chris for three or four more weeks.....it feels like a long time. All of my mommy instincts are kicking in....the reality of being away is hitting me. If you see either of them, give them a hug for me!
As I finished writing the comments about missing Seth & Chris, (I am writing from the clinic) one of the other patient's came over and handed me two boxes of gluten-free cookies for Seth. Seth is on a gluten-free diet and so is this patient. She and I had a conversation about the diet yesterday. How timely, my little boy loves these cookies....I have two boxes to bring to him! God is always on time! I needed that! Then, she stayed for a few minutes and shared in my tears...she also misses her three children.
Thanks for all of your encouraging words and comments! They mean so very much to me. Angel, thank you for the sharing the verse, Joshua 1:9 with me! "Be STRONG and courageous. Do not be afraid....God is with you WHEREVER you go." I needed to hear that today.
Love to all,
Ronda
Friday, April 18, 2008
First week and counting....
Hello everyone! I made it through my first week! It has been overwhelming and busy with every test imaginable as well as multiple meetings with the doctors and staff. However, I am starting to feel more familiar with everything and adjusted to the routine as well as the city of Reno. I am learning more about all of the IV treatments and medications and very hopeful that they will help me. Not only are they treating the lyme, they are looking at every other possible contribuatory factor to my health concerns. I have wanted someone to tell me what is going on in my body, and I have hope they will help me find some answers.
They have confirmed that the lyme is effecting my central nervous system. They told me that my heart appears healthy, and my cardiac symptoms are due to lyme damaging the nerves to the heart. Either way....it isn't a good thing for my heart. I am glad I am doing this sooner rather than later. It is also the reason for my insomnia and joint pain (I had assumed was due to exercise, running, and age). They are messing with my brain and nervous system! They also showed me a sample of my blood under a high-powered microscope. I was able to see the actual lyme spirochetes swimming around my red blood cells, and the cyst or eggs they have layed in my red blood cells. It was very crazy to actually see them!!! I wanted to reach through the screen and get rid of them!
In addition, they have told me I am allergic to sulfer and "sensitive" to some of the meds they put in the IV therapy. Interesting.....I wonder how many more trips I would have made to the ER due to reactions to medication! I guess my body was telling me something a few weeks ago. The doctor was very kind as she explained all of this to me. She said, "we will just have to treat you very special." I think that is code for being a difficult patient!! It isn't the first time I have been told...I am difficult!
The first three days I was given IV's for the purpose of detox. I have been told that lyme thrive when there are toxins in your body, and if you want to destroy them, you must first destroy the environment in which they thrive. In addition, I took shots that introduce oxygen into your body. Lyme are anaerobic and they die in the presence of oxygen. It is all very interesting!
I have definitely entered the world of needles, and my veins are wondering what is going on! I have learned about rolling veins and veins I didn't even know I had! On the second day...I didn't listen closely enough to the nurses instructions and a needle went through the vein and fluid from the IV went into the tissue. I learned that lesson the hard way....when they say, "be still," they mean it!
I have met many wonderful people who are also patients. Many of them have lyme disease as well, and it is incredible to hear their stories. I am sure you will be hearing about some of the stories as time goes on. They are inspiring and give me alot of perspective.
I forgot to mention in my first entry that Raegan (my four-year-old daughter) came with me to Reno. Chris, my husband, and I felt she was too young to be away from "mommy" for such a long period of time. Chris, Raegan and I made the trip together, and Chris has been an incredible help getting settled this week. I could not have made it without him. My dear friend, Amy, has kept Seth for me this entire week so he could stay in school. (Thank you Amy!!) Chris left this morning to go back home and pick up Seth. He will stay with Seth at home for the remainder of my treatment....making occassional departures for work. He will probably make a trip out toward the end of treatment and bring Seth with him. I will miss them sooo much! A few friends and my mom are scheduled to come and help me with Raegan when Chris is not here. I will definitely need the help, and I look forward to the company.
Overall, I am doing well. I am just very tired and feel "fluish" today. I did not sleep last night (even with sleeping aids), and that makes the day more difficult. However, Raegan is keeping me laughing with her singing and dancing and she is being very patient as I write. The first few days were hard for her, but she has is falling into a routine and seems very content to be with her mommy (she just typed mommy for me). I am going to go rest now. Thanks again for your love, prayers and concern! It means the world to me!
Ronda & Raegan
They have confirmed that the lyme is effecting my central nervous system. They told me that my heart appears healthy, and my cardiac symptoms are due to lyme damaging the nerves to the heart. Either way....it isn't a good thing for my heart. I am glad I am doing this sooner rather than later. It is also the reason for my insomnia and joint pain (I had assumed was due to exercise, running, and age). They are messing with my brain and nervous system! They also showed me a sample of my blood under a high-powered microscope. I was able to see the actual lyme spirochetes swimming around my red blood cells, and the cyst or eggs they have layed in my red blood cells. It was very crazy to actually see them!!! I wanted to reach through the screen and get rid of them!
In addition, they have told me I am allergic to sulfer and "sensitive" to some of the meds they put in the IV therapy. Interesting.....I wonder how many more trips I would have made to the ER due to reactions to medication! I guess my body was telling me something a few weeks ago. The doctor was very kind as she explained all of this to me. She said, "we will just have to treat you very special." I think that is code for being a difficult patient!! It isn't the first time I have been told...I am difficult!
The first three days I was given IV's for the purpose of detox. I have been told that lyme thrive when there are toxins in your body, and if you want to destroy them, you must first destroy the environment in which they thrive. In addition, I took shots that introduce oxygen into your body. Lyme are anaerobic and they die in the presence of oxygen. It is all very interesting!
I have definitely entered the world of needles, and my veins are wondering what is going on! I have learned about rolling veins and veins I didn't even know I had! On the second day...I didn't listen closely enough to the nurses instructions and a needle went through the vein and fluid from the IV went into the tissue. I learned that lesson the hard way....when they say, "be still," they mean it!
I have met many wonderful people who are also patients. Many of them have lyme disease as well, and it is incredible to hear their stories. I am sure you will be hearing about some of the stories as time goes on. They are inspiring and give me alot of perspective.
I forgot to mention in my first entry that Raegan (my four-year-old daughter) came with me to Reno. Chris, my husband, and I felt she was too young to be away from "mommy" for such a long period of time. Chris, Raegan and I made the trip together, and Chris has been an incredible help getting settled this week. I could not have made it without him. My dear friend, Amy, has kept Seth for me this entire week so he could stay in school. (Thank you Amy!!) Chris left this morning to go back home and pick up Seth. He will stay with Seth at home for the remainder of my treatment....making occassional departures for work. He will probably make a trip out toward the end of treatment and bring Seth with him. I will miss them sooo much! A few friends and my mom are scheduled to come and help me with Raegan when Chris is not here. I will definitely need the help, and I look forward to the company.
Overall, I am doing well. I am just very tired and feel "fluish" today. I did not sleep last night (even with sleeping aids), and that makes the day more difficult. However, Raegan is keeping me laughing with her singing and dancing and she is being very patient as I write. The first few days were hard for her, but she has is falling into a routine and seems very content to be with her mommy (she just typed mommy for me). I am going to go rest now. Thanks again for your love, prayers and concern! It means the world to me!
Ronda & Raegan
Saturday, April 12, 2008
The journey begins
Welcome family and friends! Thank you for taking this journey with me. As you know, I have been experiencing "strange" symptoms since my treatment for Hepatitis C ended in 2005. Over the last year, the "strange" symptoms have progressed to the point that I deal with them daily and the symptoms have began to greatly effect my quality of life.l
In early Feb, I found a docotor by the name of Dr. Shor. He diagnosed me with dysautonomia (a condition that affects your sympathetic nervous system) fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. He began treating me with medication and continued to order blood work. Finally, on Feb.28th, he also diagnosed me with chronic lyme disease. He stated that my other diagnosis are likely due to the lyme disease. I was surprised, scared and upset. However, glad to finally know the cause of my symptoms. I have learned that chronic lyme can be difficult to diagnose so I am thankful that he found it. I thank God for leading me to Dr. Shor, and his experience and skill to find my diagnosis!
After my diagnosis, things moved very fast, and within days, my symptoms took a bad turn. My symptoms progressed from gi issues, daily fatigue, flu-like symptoms, and muscle pain that hit me randomly throughout the day to also include insomnia, night sweats, shortness of breath, rapid heart palpitations and numbness. (Yes! I am a mess!)
On March 23rd, based on my symptoms, Dr. Shor also diagnosed me with a co-infection (parasite)called Babesia. It is a parasite that can come along with the lyme disease. He prescribed Biaxin and Malerone (an antibiotic and an anti-maleria medication). I began the medication the very same day. I was desperate for relief! The night sweats and body aches resolved within days. However, the antibiotics caused "herxheimer symptoms." I had extreme flu-like symptoms most of the day, everyday. I struggled to do the basics, and to take care of my family. I learned that the herxheimer symptoms are due to toxins (the lyme that is being killed) being poured into the blood stream. Several of you came to my rescue, and helped me with my children and brought me meals! THANK YOU!!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate your compassion and love for me and my family!
In the meantime, I prayed, and looked for all methods or means of treatment. Over and over again, I learned of people who are still suffering from lyme disease after many years of antibiotic treatment. I was told about wonderful support groups, and I was beginning to pick up on the words "manage the disease." I was told by a doctor, "there are no guarantees of putting the lyme into remission or getting one's original health back." It made me want to fight all the more, and be well for my husband and children!
On April 5th, I began having a strange reaction. My face and abdomen became very hot and bright red. My face began to swell and my face became numb around my lips. I called the pharmacist to ask about a potential reaction or side-effect of my medication. She told me to go to the ER. She suspected I was having an allergic reaction. I went to the ER and the dr could not tell me why my body had those symptoms. Nor could he tell me if I was allergic to a supplement or my medication. I was told people can and do develop allergic reactions to antibiotics at anytime...even if they have been taking it for awhile. I have the responsibility of caring for my two small children. What would I do if something worse happened, and I was alone with my children? I was afraid to take medication or my supplements I stopped the Biaxin and all supplements until I could get more answers.
In the meantime, I heard about a clinic, through my dear friend Audrey, where lyme patients receive treatment with great success. She has a friend who was treated there in 2005 (along with the whole family....all four of them had lyme disease!). The entire family is healthy and doing well! The name of the clinic is Sierra Integrative Medical Center in Reno, NV. It became a beacon of hope for me! The one thing that held me back is you must go to the center for treatment and the treatment takes 4-5 weeks. I did not want to be away from home for so long, and I was afraid of the impact on my family. However, I wanted to find care where they could monitor me closely, and tell me exactly what to put in my body by means of medication and supplements.
After the ER visit, this option seemed to be a great option. My husband and I decided to further pursue possible treatment at this medical center in Reno. The more we learned. The more we were convinced that God was directing my steps in this direction. We began securing housing, flights and making plans to spend an extended stay in Reno, NV. However, my heart was heavy about being away for so long.
On April 9th, I went to work, and I was meeting with a client ...like any other day at work. (My arm had been numb for a few days and I was experiencing some pain in my arm..but still felt as though I could work.) As I was in session with this client, the pain became worse in my arm. I also began experiencing rapid heart palpitations, chest pain, dizziness and shortness of breath. I had to stop the session. I was afraid I was having a cardiac event, and my client (who is a nurse) called 911. All of the sudden, I was laying down on the coach (talk about role reversal!) Before I knew it, I was being put on a gurney, and being taken to the hospital by ambulance. I felt like I was in a bad dream. I wanted to wake-up! At the hospital, the doctors ruled-out a cardiac event and stated my symptoms were likely due to the neurological effects of lyme disease....again the dysautonomia, or my bodies ability to regulate blood pressure, heart rate, ect... This ER visit was the final straw! I felt as though my symptoms were worsening by the day. I didn't know what to expect from body from moment to moment. We couldn't get to Reno fast enough! I knew it was the right decision.
On April 15th, I began treatment. The staff it extraordinary! Within a few short days of being here, I have learned so much about my body and how to care for it. They have ordered many blood test and I know I will learn much more!
Before leaving home this week, a few friends encouraged me to start a blog and journal my journey! So, I took them up on the challenge, and here it is. I will try to write at least a few times a week. I hope it is a place that you can check on me anytime you want and walk with me through this treatment...even though I am so far from home. Thanks for taking this journey with me! Thank you for all of your prayers and support! I love all of you!
Ronda
In early Feb, I found a docotor by the name of Dr. Shor. He diagnosed me with dysautonomia (a condition that affects your sympathetic nervous system) fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. He began treating me with medication and continued to order blood work. Finally, on Feb.28th, he also diagnosed me with chronic lyme disease. He stated that my other diagnosis are likely due to the lyme disease. I was surprised, scared and upset. However, glad to finally know the cause of my symptoms. I have learned that chronic lyme can be difficult to diagnose so I am thankful that he found it. I thank God for leading me to Dr. Shor, and his experience and skill to find my diagnosis!
After my diagnosis, things moved very fast, and within days, my symptoms took a bad turn. My symptoms progressed from gi issues, daily fatigue, flu-like symptoms, and muscle pain that hit me randomly throughout the day to also include insomnia, night sweats, shortness of breath, rapid heart palpitations and numbness. (Yes! I am a mess!)
On March 23rd, based on my symptoms, Dr. Shor also diagnosed me with a co-infection (parasite)called Babesia. It is a parasite that can come along with the lyme disease. He prescribed Biaxin and Malerone (an antibiotic and an anti-maleria medication). I began the medication the very same day. I was desperate for relief! The night sweats and body aches resolved within days. However, the antibiotics caused "herxheimer symptoms." I had extreme flu-like symptoms most of the day, everyday. I struggled to do the basics, and to take care of my family. I learned that the herxheimer symptoms are due to toxins (the lyme that is being killed) being poured into the blood stream. Several of you came to my rescue, and helped me with my children and brought me meals! THANK YOU!!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate your compassion and love for me and my family!
In the meantime, I prayed, and looked for all methods or means of treatment. Over and over again, I learned of people who are still suffering from lyme disease after many years of antibiotic treatment. I was told about wonderful support groups, and I was beginning to pick up on the words "manage the disease." I was told by a doctor, "there are no guarantees of putting the lyme into remission or getting one's original health back." It made me want to fight all the more, and be well for my husband and children!
On April 5th, I began having a strange reaction. My face and abdomen became very hot and bright red. My face began to swell and my face became numb around my lips. I called the pharmacist to ask about a potential reaction or side-effect of my medication. She told me to go to the ER. She suspected I was having an allergic reaction. I went to the ER and the dr could not tell me why my body had those symptoms. Nor could he tell me if I was allergic to a supplement or my medication. I was told people can and do develop allergic reactions to antibiotics at anytime...even if they have been taking it for awhile. I have the responsibility of caring for my two small children. What would I do if something worse happened, and I was alone with my children? I was afraid to take medication or my supplements I stopped the Biaxin and all supplements until I could get more answers.
In the meantime, I heard about a clinic, through my dear friend Audrey, where lyme patients receive treatment with great success. She has a friend who was treated there in 2005 (along with the whole family....all four of them had lyme disease!). The entire family is healthy and doing well! The name of the clinic is Sierra Integrative Medical Center in Reno, NV. It became a beacon of hope for me! The one thing that held me back is you must go to the center for treatment and the treatment takes 4-5 weeks. I did not want to be away from home for so long, and I was afraid of the impact on my family. However, I wanted to find care where they could monitor me closely, and tell me exactly what to put in my body by means of medication and supplements.
After the ER visit, this option seemed to be a great option. My husband and I decided to further pursue possible treatment at this medical center in Reno. The more we learned. The more we were convinced that God was directing my steps in this direction. We began securing housing, flights and making plans to spend an extended stay in Reno, NV. However, my heart was heavy about being away for so long.
On April 9th, I went to work, and I was meeting with a client ...like any other day at work. (My arm had been numb for a few days and I was experiencing some pain in my arm..but still felt as though I could work.) As I was in session with this client, the pain became worse in my arm. I also began experiencing rapid heart palpitations, chest pain, dizziness and shortness of breath. I had to stop the session. I was afraid I was having a cardiac event, and my client (who is a nurse) called 911. All of the sudden, I was laying down on the coach (talk about role reversal!) Before I knew it, I was being put on a gurney, and being taken to the hospital by ambulance. I felt like I was in a bad dream. I wanted to wake-up! At the hospital, the doctors ruled-out a cardiac event and stated my symptoms were likely due to the neurological effects of lyme disease....again the dysautonomia, or my bodies ability to regulate blood pressure, heart rate, ect... This ER visit was the final straw! I felt as though my symptoms were worsening by the day. I didn't know what to expect from body from moment to moment. We couldn't get to Reno fast enough! I knew it was the right decision.
On April 15th, I began treatment. The staff it extraordinary! Within a few short days of being here, I have learned so much about my body and how to care for it. They have ordered many blood test and I know I will learn much more!
Before leaving home this week, a few friends encouraged me to start a blog and journal my journey! So, I took them up on the challenge, and here it is. I will try to write at least a few times a week. I hope it is a place that you can check on me anytime you want and walk with me through this treatment...even though I am so far from home. Thanks for taking this journey with me! Thank you for all of your prayers and support! I love all of you!
Ronda
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