A Mother's Day to Remember

Mother's Day...I must admit; I was not looking forward to it. I avoided thinking about it, and when I did think about my children and Mother's Day, I could tell a good cry was brewing. To celebrate the day, my sweet mother (who flew home on Saturday) left me a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and my wonderful husband shipped me Mother's Day cards and all of the sweet letters each of you have sent to our home while I have been in treatment. I read the cards from my husband and children, and read each of the cards and letters you sent to me! I felt very loved and so appreciate all of the encouraging words and prayers!! Thank you!



After enjoying my cards, things became very quiet. Then, came the tears. I was a pile of tears. The emotion was a good relief, but then, they became an avenue for my fears. As a mom, my biggest fear is not being there to care for and protect me children. My thought was, " I am not there for them today. Can I guarantee I will be there in the future?" I was griped with fear and all of the "what if's" that come with the unknown of the future. All of the sudden, the phone rang, and it was my friend, Laurel. She was just calling to say, "Happy Mother's Day," and check on me. I tried to fight back the emotion, but when I heard her voice, the tears flowed. She listened to me cry (it's not the first time she has done this!), and she said, "Ronda, Fear is F-False, E-Evidence, A-Appearing, R-Real. I knew she was right. I needed to live in the "reality" of today. I was trying to worry about tomorrow and a future I can't predict or control. We finished our conversation and then, my friend Debbie called. She was calling to see if I received a package she had sent several days before (the post office is also hard to predict.... I had not received it), and she encouraged me to get out and do something fun.



When I hung up the phone, I decided to get out of my four walls and drive out to Lake Tahoe. I needed a change of scenery. On the way out, I stopped by the office to check on her package. They had it! I started to open it (the kids inside of me couldn't wait to open it), and then thought, "No, I'll wait until I get to Tahoe." I asked a woman in the office about the best way to get to Tahoe, and she was kind enough to give me pointers. Then, she said,"You should go to Jake's for dinner. They have great food." I thought, "I wish.... but with all of my food allergies, I will have to stick with the cashews and sunflower seeds I packed!"



The ride to Lake Tahoe was incredible! I felt like I was being drawn into a postcard! It was beautiful, and a sense of adventure was building inside of me. Being surrounded by the beauty of nature and the mountains, I was being reminded that God is "walking" with me. I felt such a peace and sense of His presence! I couldn't wait to see the Lake.



When I arrived in Tahoe, the first order of business was to find a bathroom! The Lake had to wait! I entered a little downtown area and decided not to challenge my non-existent parallel parking abilities. I needed a bathroom with regular parking! I turned down a small, nondescript street, toward the lake, and right in front of me was a huge sign that said, "Jake's Restaurant." I started to laugh. I thought, "What are the chances that I would turn down the one street in all of Tahoe that leads into Jake's parking lot!" My next thought was, "God, am I suppose to eat here?" I was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes , and nothing had been done in the make-up or hair department. I was not planning on seeing or dining with anyone!



I saw that Jake's was connected to a small indoor shopping mall. Shopping?? Now that's what the doctor ordered! I can shop in any condition! I went inside the mall to find a bathroom and souvenirs for Chris and the kids. I walked into a clothing store, and quickly realized it was not a souvenir shop. It was a woman's clothing store. I turned to leave, and then, I saw a "Sales" sign. Anyone that knows me well, knows I cannot turn down a good sale!! I looked through the sales rack and found a cute black top. It was 70% off! What a bargain! The sales lady asked if I would like to try it on....I couldn't offend her! I tried it on, and it fit and looked great! I thought, "Maybe I am suppose to have a Mother's Day dinner and I need to get dressed for the occasion! All of the sudden, I felt like I was in a reality show where the girl is taken to get fitted in a new outfit before an evening out! I was starting to get into it! I thought, "God I know you are walking with me, but are you also taking me out for the evening?" " Do you do that kind of thing!??"



The top was cute and I was ready to buy it, but I looked down and the tennis shoes where not working for me! I couldn't wear the top with tennis shoes! Conveniently enough, as I came out of the dressing room, I spotted a display of shoes across the store. I wandered over to shoes and my practical side was shouting..."This is crazy! What am I doing?" I looked at the shoes, and found the cutest pair of strappy sandals. Strappy sandals are adorable, but on other people. I have very wide feet, and strappy sandals don't work for me! I picked them up and put them down again (several times!). Finally, I thought, "Just try them on, and get it over with!" I tried the pair on display, and they fit perfectly! I loved them! The sales lady said, "Since these are the display pair, I will give you 10% off. She was speaking my language! I walked out of there with an outfit for dinner! I changed into my outfit and rubbed chapstick and lipliner together for my lipstick. I was ready for dinner. I said, "Okay God, if you are orchestrating an evening for me, there has to be something I can eat on Jake's menu" I walked into the restaurant no longer feeling like the "patient" but a beautiful woman going to dinner.



I was seated next to a window looking out over the lake and the mountains. It was incredible! I feasted on sesame encrusted bass, jasmine rice and veggies. It was perfect. I was soaking in the moment when my phone rang. It was my friend Debbie; the friend who sent me the package. I told her about my "evening out," and told her I finally received her package. She said, "You have to open it now." I had it in my purse so, I pulled it out and opened it up. In the package was a beautiful silver, handmade necklace. Attached to the necklace was a tag that said Matthew 6:26. The verses read, "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they, and why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all of His glory did not clothe himself like one of these. But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith? Do not be anxious then saying, "What shall we eat? or what shall we drink or with what shall we clothe ourselves.....Therefore, do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Wow!! I was speechless! I was crying again but this time they were tears of joy. Yes, God was feeding me and clothing me. How incredible that he knows me (He knows all of us!), and cares for me! I can trust him with all of my tomorrows. He knows all of my days! I will never forget that evening, and the necklace will help me remember. The necklace is an oval pendant, and on the pendent, is a small bird with a crown on its head. It is beautiful and a perfect reminder! Thank you Debbie!

After dinner, I found a quiet place on the lake to reflect and enjoy. It was very peaceful! I drove home with a new peace and deeper understanding that God is with me, and knows my needs (as well as my family's needs). Nothing is out of His hands.

Love to all!
Ronda